Among the shouts of children, dinner being made, trouble at work, car being serviced, he exposes his underbelly, tells us of his weakness, the blind spot of his eye, a place where he'd rather not but is left with no choice.
"I live within the narrow confines of two extremes, being fully conscious of the contradiction. I am bound by them to the extent of not being able to move at all, of having to stand. These two extremes are well known to all men - they are defined by the presence and absence of sense. For me the world is either nothing but sense (purpose, for the want of a better word), or it is completely senseless. There is either nothing but reason or there is no reason at all. God is everything or there is none. These things seem absolutely clear to me, in my walk, in my sleep, in my love of all things or utter disregard for them. I can switch from one to another, I have to, so as to maintain soundness of mind. It is neither new, nor original, and yet most people choose the shade of one or the other rather than the scorching light. They claim umbrellas to be the sun, they hide under roofs, calling them rain. They choose half-God and half-matter. Half-people. There can be nothing more blasphemous than the deeply held believe in "something", which today's opinion polls testify to so clearly. We have lost God in exchange for something ("Do you believe in God?" "No, I do not believe in God, but there must be something, I do believe in something."). In the name of something we have even compromised nothingness. Our actions, our love affairs, our cooking shows, our entire civilisation is based on a firmly based believe in... something. And I (I alone) believe in everything or nothing. Do I stand accused of relativism? There is nothing relative in my mind, everything is absolute. I am an absolutist, an absolutist of the mind. I don't need four eyes to see two different landscapes at once, as two is more easily divisible by two."
He concluded on an obscure note. He is not a drunk but his speech pattern is strangely disrrupted.
